Okay the "shitloads of thoughts" might just be a hyperbolic statements.

5.11.23

2 years of being a so called doctor

god fucking damn it im so fucking tired. i dont know if its about the job or about the colleagues or about the juniors or about my friends or my wife or my parents or my life choices...... i really dont know. because now i feel like im stucked in a never ending loop of doing shits im not even interested in doing in the first place (read: maybe because of my life choices) 

sometimes i feel like im done but i still find myself getting ready to work everyday without miss teehee. at least the pay is good. but still fuck em

 

10.6.20

The less you know, the better

Have you ever wonder how someone can be so perfect it seems so hard to emulate them? well the truth is, its just the things that they allow you to see. You never know how and what they capable of doing when they are alone. Im not saying the things that they are hiding are necessarily bad things or anything okay, because i believe everyone got something they are ashamed of... so its seems wiser to hide it especially in this period of time when you are absolutely surrounded by begoted judgemental society who will never be satisfied with who you really are. Sometimes they are just mad from the inside, but they forced themselves to look good and be accepted by others because... yeah mans gotta make friends or they will be lonely for the rest of his life right?

You can dig deeper past someones personal lives, but make sure you are well-prepared for the unexpected. When you find a dirt somewhere there during your "digging", make sure not to judge them, and of course it is absolutely not a suitable topic for discussions with the peers. You can give advice and shits but make sure you preach using the most polite and suitable method. But, before you let them know, you need to realize some things are better left unsaid.. and have you ever wonder why they hide it in the first place? probably because they just dont want others to know it (and believe me its not a rocket science). It would feel awkward for you dealing with someone who looks so good in front of people when they are actually a psychopath in the inside isnt it? but that is your fault for not minding your own fucking business.. 

Humanity (you and me included) are not perfect and never will be. Just accept it as it is. 

3.6.20

Allah, Islam and Muhammad SAW

As a Muslim, i think i am obliged to remind my fellow muslim friends how Rasullah loves us, his followers. He loves his followers too much to an extent he put up with all the literal shits being thrown at him and keep himself strong in spreading the teachings of islam because he believes he must lead by example, and if he decides to abandon those whos against him, his efforts of guiding the stupid mankind might end up to no avail.  As for us, his followers living in this time and era, i think he loves us too much when he thinks that we are his greatest of followers because we somehow still "believe" in islam eventhough he is no longer in the world giving us guidance, and probably because the "believe" is solely based on in his intangible sunnah (which had been passed down through thousands or maybe millions of generations with a lot of uncertainty in terms of its authenticity) and from the words stated in the Quran only . He loves us too much he asked the god to give him the opportunities to help us during the judgement days because he believes that we are so unfortunate to not being able to being guided by him first-hand. Yes, i just think he loves us too much even when he was in the brink of death, the last words of his was "ummati" (which means my followers - direct translation).

Yup he loves us too much but we dont deserve it. We are all protecting the liberals who thinks that what he worked soooo hard through the course of his life spreading, is irrelevant in this day of time. Some of us even has the audacity to question the relevance of his teachings, or even question what the god Himself told him to implement in ourselves, as a muslim at least. We dont even care about his Sunnah anymore, and yes i said that and that, includes myself. Sometimes, we forgot a prayer and we dont even feel its wrong. Mind you, he went back and forth during Isra' just to lessen the amount of prayers that we were obliged to do as a muslim, and even when the God himself granted his wish (from hundreds of prayer times per day to just five), he still think it would be a great burden for us. 

With the uses of social media, we even post shits online questioning everything about Islam, and questioning everything that he believes in. We even let others talk shits about him without feeling angry about it (well maybe we are angry, but not angry enough considering how much he loves us). How can we, as a muslim, dare asking him for help during the judgement day? do we really act like we love him enough to ask him for one? yes we said that we love him, and yes, we said that we care about him, but how many times do we pray for him in a day through "selawat" and all? Maybe he loves his followers too much when we dont really care about the privilege of being a muslim, and we step on the privilege with our feet through our bad deeds without remorse or regrets. Yup, maybe he cared about us too much when we dont really care shit about him and what he believes in. Even during the judgement day, his followers gonna receive something better than the followers of the messengers before him, which is his blessings. Guess why are we receiving such special treatments during that day? big shocker - because he begs the god for it. I keep telling you how much he loves us yet we keep on hurting our muslim brothers and sisters through our sharp tongues (well maybe through the keyboard because after all thats what people nowadays including me are good at - being a keyboard worrior, acting wise and shits). How do we even receive the blessings if we treating the people he loves so much, like shits everyday - without fails. 

I think this is getting too long, and i would like to end it here, hoping that i did gave you something to think about at night before we sleep and i hope that i can get the message across, so we can think of something that can be done in the next days of our life in order to be better, as a muslim or even as a grown, mature person as a whole. It is never too late to learn about his sunnah now, because i think its better too late than never. Dont ever forget to train ourselves, to love our beloved prophet (Rasulullah SAW) or if we think that we are unable to love him as much as he loves us, try our best to first be respectful to him, and eventually the unconditional love might follow suit. I am telling you again that Rasulullah worked really hard to get the messages about Islam across the whole world because he believe that it is the best way to live with, because nowadays, there is so many people telling us how irrelevant and uncivilized Islam is in this current era. However, believe me when i say this, Islam is never about that and it is them who choose to believe that Islam is irrelevant. 

Thats all, thank you for your time and sorry again for the grammar (malas nak betulkan)

Assalamualaikum