Okay right now im in a study week and I hope you guys could pray for the best results because I don't want to mess with mine. I really hope that I could.
okay so just now while I was scrolling the youtube channels, I found a live feeds from ISS that shows us the view from the "outside". then I suddenly remember my old dream of becoming an astronaut. Pretty ridiculous right? yep maybe because there will be like a reaaally slight chance for myself to be chosen to be in that people position, thinking about spaces and stuffs (i guess thats what they do right?). but, I wonder what happens if I just stick to the same dream and keep pursuing the dream. I really wonder what would happen. will I still be in this position (of being mad for not being able to remember all these boring stuffs about vasculitis, or the diseases or the drugs) because its been a long time since I last feel satisfy for accomplishing something in the studies to be honest. Its not that I'm not thankful for being able to be this far, because to me this is all due to the grace from the All Mighty, granting my wishes to be able to get the things I want along the course of my study like getting to pass the cut-off points in IB for being able to go abroad, obtaining a good result in SPM to make me qualify for MARA scholarship etc (okay maybe im revealing too much there). its just that I sometimes cant help but being mad at myself. I feel so stupid and useless for listening to what others told me about whats better and whats worse. You will hear so many people regretting the decisions that theyve made in their lives and it would not be the first time you hearing it. Despite all that, i believe there are too many wonderful things in this world that we could grab and its just up to us to either fuck it up or try your best to achieve it. We maybe walking in this lonely sorrow path but there are still chances for us to adapt, improvise and be better in it.
So I'm here, to tell you (those who is still doubting themselves if they are gonna make it towards their ambitions/dreams or not) that your dreams are not useless and its never impossible. Even when you think that your dream is impossible, just keep pursuing it. Nothing is impossible in life, and there should be no one that could stop you if you have the passion to have it. Remember, you need to earn your own life and learn to sometimes tell others to shut the fuck up, and live your life you own way. Its your life in the end isn't it? and whats the point of needing to change your preferences just because you think that there might be someone not liking it. Just be yourself, live you life, do you stuff, and do you.
Okay I think that's it and all the best guys in your life guys. Don't ever give up when you see others look down on you for those little failures you receive along your way towards your dream. Whenever that time comes around, remember that there are others, who will always supporting you even those who you don't know, because there should be more than myself alone with this regrets and we will always hope that you carry on up until you reach the top of your life. So long and cheers!
